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I've been up and down like a light switch.

Mixed metaphors

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

“I must be on a visit”, Tom guessed.

Tom Swifties

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' bumble bees.

Miscellaneous

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Tom Swifties

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

… on hollowed ground

Malaprops

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Group Therapy: A drama-in-the-round staged for the entertainment of a professional therapist, who commands the players to put on a new show each week and charges them for the privilege.

Definitions

Surely we'll dig up the past, in order to bury the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

“So, it’s a duel you want!” Tom shot back.

Tom Swifties

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions

If he fell into a pile of horse shit, he’d start looking for a pony.

Characteristics Expressions

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

Intelligence