Author: Anonymous Page 68

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time

Even a spotted pig looks black at night.

Expressions Situations

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

I sink, therefore I swam.

Activities Communication Wordplay

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

Definitions Government Politicians

It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

Mixed metaphors

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

Work

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Definitions

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

They downloaded the strength of the hurricane.

Malaprops

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties