Author: Anonymous Page 72

“I’m burning aromatic substances,” said Tom, incensed.

Tom Swifties

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions

American: One who gets mad when a foreigner curses the institutions he curses.

America Definitions Places

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Mixed metaphors

What comes around, is all around.

Malaprops

“I lost my trousers,” said Tom expansively.

Tom Swifties

Always remember: golf clubs don’t float.

Golf Sports

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations

Zebra: A horse behind bars.

Animals Definitions

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

The discovery of the preserved bodies “breathed new life into” Arctic exploration.

Mixed metaphors

“I couldn’t believe there were 527,986 bees in the swarm!” Tom recounted.

Tom Swifties

“This oar is broken,” said Tom robustly.

Tom Swifties

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Sex

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

“I wonder if there’s a number between seven and nine,” said Tom considerately.

Tom Swifties

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Definitions

Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.

Definitions Sex

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions