Author: Anonymous Page 92

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

“All right – we’ll use a water solution”, Tom acquiesced.

Tom Swifties

“That just doesn’t add up,” said Tom, nonplussed.

Tom Swifties

Just keep your eye on the pie.

Malaprops

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops Situations

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions

Money roots out all evil.

Mixed metaphors

It will be music to your wallet.

Mixed metaphors

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

From that book suppository building…

Malaprops

The most important decision is that of excepting Jesus in your life.

Malaprops

I wouldn't trust him with my bargepole.

Mixed metaphors

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.

Characteristics Definitions

“I was removed from office,” said Tom disappointedly.

Tom Swifties

He's trying to gain a foothold in the public eye.

Mixed metaphors

“3.14159265,” Tom said piously.

Tom Swifties

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People

Bridge: A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband’s bidding.

Activities Definitions Games

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People