Author: Anonymous Page 92

Bragging: The patter of tiny feats.

Definitions

Adolescence: When a boy has reached the state when he knows why a strapless gown must be held up, but doesn’t understand how.

Age Definitions

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Faster than a dog's tail in a meat market.

Expressions Time

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

It was so cold… flashers were just describing themselves.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

I could hear footprints.

Malaprops

Silence is bliss.

Mixed metaphors

Afterthought: A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth about the time he has put his foot in it.

Definitions

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Don't corner something that is meaner than you.

Expressions Situations

“I feel a draft,” Tom said coolly.

Tom Swifties

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

“I will file a counter suit against you,” Tom retorted.

Tom Swifties

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

“I’m your mother’s brother’s father-in-law’s son,” Tom related.

Tom Swifties

My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree.

Animals Dogs Education

When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.

Communication Problems