Author: Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer

He doesn't remember any silent days in motion pictures – the director always yelled.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Entertainment Film Speech

The champion, Jess Willard, had about as much chance in this fight as a dish-faced chimpanzee in a beauty contest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Boxing Sports

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

Allen S. Sothoron pitched his initials off yesterday.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Work

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Health Reading/Writing

He writes dialogues by cutting monologues in two.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

He was born silly and had a relapse.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

She was always crying; in fact, she wept so much she made everybody's corns ache.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Emotions

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Food/Drink

He was so ugly, the last time I saw him he was the top of a totem pole in Seattle.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Insults

She was a brunette by birth, but a blonde by habit.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Characteristics

How much would you charge to haunt a house?

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Communication

It arrived by first-class mail in second-class condition.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Government Law

There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
People