Author Helen Rowland | Just-One-Liners.com

Author: Helen Rowland Page 2

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Husbands Marriage Sleep

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Emotions Love Wordplay

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Marriage Bargain

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives Newspapers

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives Breakfast Civilized Savage

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Characteristics Husbands Marriage People Bachelor Trust

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Marriage People Women Dread Separation

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Divorce Marriage Understanding

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women Twenty years

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

Helen Rowland

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Husbands Marriage Wives Vision

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Author: Helen Rowland Page 2

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.