Author: Rick Bayan Page 2

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Orgasm: The punchline some women just don’t get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Sex

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Government

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

Neurotic: Sane but unhappy about it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Ideologue: Typically an obscure humorless zealot who finds fulfillment by spouting the ideas of famous humorless zealots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Beliefs Definitions

Star: A performer who makes more than his or her agent.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Obituary: A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor’s parakeet.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Death Definitions

Zoo: A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Animals Definitions

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

State-of-the-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Shallowness: The root cause of chronic good health, high school popularity, appearance on the fiction bestseller lists, and gainful employment on local tv news broadcasts.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Funeral Home: a stately manse occupied by transients who continually receive visitors but lack the energy and inclination to entertain them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions