Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Celebrity
(Page 2)
Any idiot can get laid when they’re famous… that’s easy… it’s getting laid when you’re
not
famous that takes some talent.
Kevin Bacon
(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Sex
Success
Celebrity
Fame
The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.
Mel Brooks
(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Success
Celebrity
Sanity
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Fran Lebowitz
(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Success
Andy Warhol
Celebrity
I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.
Jessica Simpson
(1980 – ) American singer
Music
Success
Celebrity
Diva
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
Jennifer Aniston
(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Toilet paper
I’m kind of jealous of the life I’m supposedly leading.
Zach Braff
(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Life
Success
Celebrity
Jealousy
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Henry Kissinger
(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Characteristics
Success
Boredom
Celebrity
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People
Success
Celebrity
Why should I have become elevated to a position of first-page importance merely because I am somewhat more dexterous than most in manipulating a contrivance of catgut and wood which is commonly called a tennis racquet?
Mary K. Brown
first American female professional tennis player
Sports
Success
Celebrity
Tennis
Tennis racquet
Fame means absolutely nothing except a good table at a restaurant.
Eileen Atkins
(1934 – ) English actress & occasional screenwriter
Success
Celebrity
Fame
You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.
Jay Leno
(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Mothers
Success
Celebrity
Fame
Jack Benny's ability on the violin was legendary; everybody knew he had none.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Success
Things
Ability
Celebrity
Violin
There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.
Kevin Bacon
(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Success
Actors
Celebrity
Fame
Liars
Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.
Russell Brand
(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Speech
Success
Celebrity
Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted.
Sammy Davis Jr.
(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics
Insults
People
Success
Celebrity
Racism
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Success
Celebrity
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Hollywood
Places
Success
Celebrity
Iowa
I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.
Michael ‘Geechy Guy’ Cathers
(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict
Killing
Success
Celebrity
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Michael Pritchard
comedian, counselor & speaker
Death
Science/Weather
Success
Wealth
Celebrity
Success for some people, depends on becoming well-known; for others, it depends on never being found out.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Success
Celebrity
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People
Success
Celebrity
Sunglasses
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