Subject: Conflict » Arms

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed without them in 'Red Storm Rising.'

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85; that’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

(1932 – ) comedian, social activist, critic & writer

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian

You’ll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old’s cold dead hands.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

They say that guns don't kill people, people kill people, but I think the guns help.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
The Animal Rescue Site