Subject: Definitions (Page 78)

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Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Activities Definitions Games

Bra: Decoration draped by your wife over the shower curtain rod in the bathroom.

Clothing Definitions

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.

Autos Definitions Things

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man who knows less about your business than you do and gets paid more for telling you how to run it than you could possibly make out of it, even if you ran it right instead of the way he told you to.

Definitions

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government