Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

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Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

Middle Age: That period when a man begins to shed his hair, his teeth, and his illusions.

Age Definitions

Rational: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Activities Definitions

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist’s bills.

Definitions

Diet: What helps a person gain weight more slowly.

Definitions Food/Drink

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No Hard Feelings.”

Definitions Sex

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.

Age Definitions

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

Communication Definitions Language

Vacation: A change of routine that makes you feel good enough to go back to work and poor enough to have to.

Definitions

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.

Definitions Golf Occupations

Arsonist: A person who sets the world on fire… at least in a small way.

Definitions

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes