Subject: Definitions (Page 74)

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Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination.

Definitions

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Monarch: A king with a good publicity man.

Definitions

Patience: The quality you admire in the driver behind you but can’t stand in the driver who’s in front of you.

Characteristics Definitions

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Definitions

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.

Definitions Marriage

Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions