Subject: Definitions (Page 72)

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Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Gifted Children: Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents.

Definitions Family

Dance: The action of moving rhythmically to music with a partner, a skill which a woman possesses naturally, but which a man acquires only for the short time in his young adulthood when he wishes to meet and impress young women, and abandons thereafter due to mysterious knee injuries.

Dance Definitions Entertainment

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Antibody: Against everyone.

Definitions Wordplay

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Definitions Marriage

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Definitions

Chic: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

Beliefs Definitions Intelligence People

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family