Subject: Definitions (Page 77)

View All Definitions

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

Activities Definitions

Advertising: The rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Definitions

Life: A sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality rate.

Definitions Life

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

Accidents Definitions Problems

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Definitions

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Vacation: A period during which people find out where to stay away from next year.

Definitions

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Bowling: Marbles for grown-ups.

Activities Definitions

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work