Subject: Food/Drink » Cooking (Page 4)

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Cooking Food/Drink

If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of something left out, rather than added.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

I’m not very domestic… for years my children though mold was a frosting.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Cooking Food/Drink People Self

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

(1964– ) American comedian, radio personality, actor, podcaster & director
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

We could not have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of Cooks.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

When my mother had to get dinner for eight she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Cooking Eating Food/Drink

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

One night she told me to put out the garbage; I told her "you cooked it, you take it out."

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

(1932 – ) British novelist & journalist
Cooking Food/Drink Life Time

You are always complimented on the item that took the least effort to prepare. Example: If you make roast turkey, you will be complimented on the baked potato.

Cooking Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Cooking TV/Movie Quotes

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Cooking Eating Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Cooking Food/Drink

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink Men People

Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions