Subject: People (Page 2)

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

I want a man who’s kind and understanding; is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

(1917 – ) Hungarian-born American actress

My parents were very protective; I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited and… placing bets.

(1956 – ) American comedian

As youse people say, Sh-boom.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

(1885 – 1962) Danish physicist

What pleases men most is old wine and young women.

(c. 484 BC – c. 425 BC) Greek historian

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people… that’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.













The Hunger Site