Subject: People » Self

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself… and you are the easiest person to fool.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate’s name.

(1967 – 2007) American model

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

If I like it, I say it's mine; if don’t I say it's a fake.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer

I'm not indecisive; am I indecisive?

(1947 – ) American politician & mayor

My vagina is like Newark [New Jersey]; men know it’s there, but they don’t want to visit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid… well that and ‘fagot.'

American comedian

All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I couldn’t be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I love my name: Paris is my favorite city, and Paris without the ‘P’ is “heiress.”

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model

If people only knew as much about painting as I do, they would never buy my pictures.

(1802 – 1873) English painter

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

How many advantages can one person have?… I'm a white man!

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

I don’t feel I’m even worthy of a normal amount of value.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor

It’s amazing the fans want to see me play; it’s kind of scary; I guess that’s what’s wrong with our society.

professional baseball player
Help veterans in need with one click. The Veterans Site