Subject: People » Self (Page 3)

The sheer immensity of the human self as envisioned by the world's religions is awesome.

(1919 – ) American religious studies scholar
Beliefs People Religion Self

How many advantages can one person have?… I'm a white man!

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
People Self

Our ego is our silent partner – too often with a controlling interest.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Characteristics People Self

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment People Self

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Self

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

There is only one difference between a madman and me – the madman thinks he is sane… I know I am mad.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Intelligence People Self

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian
Animals Dogs Self

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Self Sex

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake; I feel better already!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink Self

I told my kids, “Someday, you’ll have kids of your own.” One of them said, “So will you.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family People Self

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

How do people make new mates?… asking for a friend.

Comedian & writer
Friends People Self

I stopped buying women’s magazines; the only time I ever see someone who looks like me is under the word ‘Before’.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Self

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

I don’t feel I’m even worthy of a normal amount of value.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
People Self

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
People Self

People like to hear me say 'shit' in my gorgeous voice.

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer
Acting Entertainment People Self

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Cats People Self