Subject: Problems » Accidents

I think the homeless have it pretty good because 98% of deadly accidents happen inside the home.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Accidents People Problems

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer
Accidents Auto racing Problems Sports

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Accidents Failure Murphy’s Laws

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

I broke a leg one time… spilled coffee all over.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Problems

If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Things always fall at right angles.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

I have lost friends, some by death… others through sheer inability to cross the street.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Accidents Age Death Friends People

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Accidents Life

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems