Subject: Sex (Page 4)

Familiarity breeds contempt… and children.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Children People Sex

I know I must be really good in bed, because women always ask me if there’s any possible way I could make it last longer.

Sex

Men don’t like to cuddle. We only like it if it leads to… you know… lower cuddling.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

writer, website creator
Sex

I grew up… in a house filled with love… my cousin lived there and she put out.

(1950 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, writer, singer & producer
Relationships Sex

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

Allan: You were fantastic last night in bed.
Linda: Oh, thanks.
Allan: How do you feel now?
Linda: I think the Pepto Bismol helped.

1946 – ) American film actress, director & producer
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I practice safe sex… I use an airbag.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Sex

My wife told me: ‘Sex is better on holiday.’ … that wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive.

comedian & writer
Sex

I hope Iman took a good book on the honeymoon.

Sex Situations

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Characteristics Sex

I took a girl out on a date the other night and I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere sexually, you know, because I was out of chloroform and rags.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Dating Sex

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Girlfriends Sex Young

I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.

(1988 – ) English comedian, television presenter & actor
Sex Situations

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

American actor & comedian
Men Sex Women

A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.

American actor & comedian
Men People Sex

Trust me, ladies, if you knew even for a second how we men really look at you, you would never stop slapping us.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Men People Sex Women

A hard man is good to find.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Sex Situations