Author: Will Rogers

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing – and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
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