Author: Will Rogers

I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The English should give Ireland home rule – and reserve the motion picture rights.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The more you read and observe about the Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft; today it’s called golf.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
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