Subject: Characteristics

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories

You may already be a loser!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

You could start an argument in an empty house.

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

There’s a difference between beauty and charm; a beautiful woman is one I notice, a charming woman is one who notices me.

(1879 – 1951) American educator, writer & musician

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

I’d like to do a few quick depressions for you guys… anxiety

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.


He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Always be nice to people on the way up because you’ll meet the same people on the way down.

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist