Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 2)

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

The label "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" means the price went up.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

America Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If an item is advertised as "under $50," you can bet it's not $19.95.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms;' and he said, 'Just a minute,' and I said, 'Oh, that's my brand.'

American comedian & actor
Sex Shopping Situations

If you need n items of anything, you will have n – 1 in stock.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

Bargain: Something you can’t use, at a price you can’t resist.

Activities Definitions Shopping

If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Shopping

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

The gifts you buy your wife are never as appropriate as the gifts your neighbor buys his wife.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Our culture teaches us to buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like.

(1946 – 2007) American entrepreneur
Activities Shopping

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

writer
Activities People Shopping Women

The other line moves faster.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping