Subject: Activities » Shopping (Page 3)

1. If you like it, they don't have it in your size. 2. If you like it and its in your size, it doesn't fit anyway. 3. If you like it and it fits, you can't afford it. 4. If you like it, it fits, and you can afford it, it falls apart the first time you wash it.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

(1952 – ) comedian
Food/Drink Shopping

I take him shopping with me… I say, 'OK, Jesus, help me find a bargain.'

(1942 – 2007) American televangelist (was married to Jim Bakker)
Activities Beliefs God Shopping

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Shopping Situations

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Activities Shopping Things

It’s easy to tell when you’ve got a bargain – it doesn’t fit.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Activities Shopping

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

If you go to Bed Bath & Beyond without a coupon, people will wonder if you’re OK.

(1964 – 2014) American actor, Broadway performer & stand-up comedian
Activities Shopping

If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Shopping

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Appearance Body Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Husbands Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

The slowest checker is always at the quick-check-out lane.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

You might be a redneck if… you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks Shopping

People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys.

American comedian
Appearance Clothing Shopping

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Activities Shopping Things Time

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping