Subject: Age » Old

You Are Old: Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Age Book Titles Old

Girls used to come up to me and say, “My sister loves you.” Now they say, “My mother loves you.”

baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports

I didn’t see it [old age] coming — it hit me from the rear.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Old

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Appearance Body Old

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Age Old Shopping

Oh, to be seventy again.

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist
Age Old

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Age Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Old

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Age Characteristics Old

It was traumatic for me — not as traumatic as turning gay.

television executive & comedian
Age Old

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Old

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

writer, website creator
Friends Old People

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

(1931 – 2005) American actor
Age Men Old People

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Age Exaggerations Old

You still chase women, but only downhill.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Dating Old

I refuse to admit I'm more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Age Children Old

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Age Old

Barney: I think of you as experienced. In an emergency, you would be the first one that I’d call.
Fish: You should call me first. I need time to put my teeth in.

(1921 – ) American actor
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Age Children Family Old

He is so old… his social security number is 6.

Age Exaggerations Old