Subject: Age » Old (Page 9)

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman

At my age flowers scare me.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re told to slow down by your doctor instead of the police.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Anyone can get old; all you have to do is live long enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I believe in loyalty… when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

(1919 – 1995) Hungarian-born American socialite & actress

I still feel 30, except when I try to run.

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

She’ll never admit it, but I believe it is Mama.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress

I know Im getting old – I had an accident; I was arrested for hit and walk.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Senility: A cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed.