Subject: Age » Old (Page 9)

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old Reading/Writing

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

When I was young, the old regarded me as an outrageous young fellow and now that I’m old the young regard me as an outrageous old fellow.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Age Old

The four stages of a man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Age Life Old Young

I ask myself questions in those stores I don't ask myself anywhere else, like, 'Will I live long enough to use all those paper towels?'

American comedian & musician
Age Old Shopping

To what do I attribute my longevity? … bad luck.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Age Old

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

I got my start in silent radio.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Old

I can’t tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Old

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Age Appearance Insults Old

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents

At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Health Old Relationships

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Children Friends Old People

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Ask anybody over 30 – if they tell you they have more than 10 friends, you know they’re counting co-workers.

American comedian & television host
Age Friends Old People

I’ve been doing it [stealing from hotels] for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old