Subject: Age » Old (Page 8)

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom

I knew her before she was a virgin.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Old

When I was young, the old regarded me as an outrageous young fellow and now that I’m old the young regard me as an outrageous old fellow.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Age Old

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Old Young

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost… they are added to the ages of other women.


(1499 – 1566) French noblewoman & prominent courtier
Age Old People Women

He has become the oldest living cute boy in the world.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Age Appearance Insults Old

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Old People Problems Success

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old Things

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

As I understand President Bush's Medicare plan, it provides for unlimited coverage for anyone over 72 whose parents can pass the physical.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Age Government Health Old

That dame is older than the Continental Shelf!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Age Children Family Old

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Old Sex

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Age Intelligence Old Young

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Old Success

Tommy John is so old, he uses Absorbine Senior.

(1952 – ) American sportscaster
Age Baseball Old Sports

He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.

Age Exaggerations Old

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old