Subject: Age » Old (Page 9)

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.

(1899 – 1987) American dancer, choreographer, singer, musician & actor
Age Old

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Old

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Characteristics Old

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

He may be the only kicker to kick and collect Social Security at the same time.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Age Football Old Sports

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

When I was young, the old regarded me as an outrageous young fellow and now that I’m old the young regard me as an outrageous old fellow.

(1915 – 2001) English astronomer & mathematician
Age Old

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Age Insults Old

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday; I tell them, a paternity suit.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Law Old

People with money live so damn long.

Age Life Murphy’s Laws Old

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Appearance Old People Women

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice
Age Old

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Health Old Things

In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age Old Places

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Age Old

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Appearance Body Old

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Health Old Women

Say Satch, tell me, was Abraham Lincoln a crouch hitter?

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Age Baseball Old Sports