Subject: Age » Old (Page 6)

Pudge is so old, they didn’t have history class when he went to school.

professional baseball player & broadcaster
Age Baseball Old Sports

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Age Intelligence Old People

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Food/Drink Money Old

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.”

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Old

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Activities Age Golf Old Sports Time

I know Im getting old – I had an accident; I was arrested for hit and walk.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Old

The only good thing about [aging] is you’re not dead.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Age Old

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Health Old Science/Weather

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.

Age Old

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Activities Age Happiness Health Old

Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Old

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they're cramming for their final exam.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Old

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
Age Old

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Emotions Money Old

Now that I am sixty, I see why the idea of elder wisdom has passed from currency.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Age Intelligence Old Wisdom

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Old Sex

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Activities Age Old Sex

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old