Subject: Beliefs (Page 4)

I’m not a believer in luck… but I do believe you need it.

Beliefs Misspokements Situations

A liberal’s generosity is only limited by your income.

Beliefs Government

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs Government Politics

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Beliefs Opinion

The only statistics you can trust are those you falsified yourself.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Beliefs Honesty Lies Truth

I believe in equality; equality for everybody; no matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs Characteristics Self

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.

(1905 –1998) American author
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.

Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.

(1943 – 2010) English actress
Beliefs God Situations

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.

(1925 – 2013) comedian & actor
Beliefs God

Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

Lies Murphy’s Laws

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

Catholicism is the most adhesive religion in the world; if you joined the Taliban, you’d merely be regarded as a bad Catholic.

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs Religion

The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Opinion

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

(1931 – ) Irish-American actor, writer & politician
Beliefs

My church accepts all denominations – fivers, tenners, twenties.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs Money

Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Beliefs Religion