Subject: Beliefs (Page 7)

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Beliefs Facts

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

My wife said: ‘I want an explanation and I want the truth.’ I said: ‘Make up your mind.’

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication Honesty Marriage Truth Wives

If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty People

Just saw an Orthodox Jewish kid do three pull-ups… shattering the previous record.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth

No matter how often the lie is shown to be false, there will still remain a percentage of people who believe it true.

Beliefs Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

If you want to get rid of somebody, just tell him something for his own good.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Beliefs Opinion

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Characteristics Emotions

He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Beliefs Religion

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

Activities Honesty Lies

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Beliefs Proverbs

He knocks the hell out of people, but in a Christian way.

professional football player & coach
Beliefs Football Sports

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs God