Subject: Beliefs (Page 8)

What can I say about Milton Berle that he already hasn't said himself?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Opinion Speech

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Emotions God Love Marriage

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Autos Beliefs Religion Things

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics President

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Communication Honesty Language Lies Truth

I like the Ten Commandments, but there’s a problem with the ninth one; it should be: ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ox – except in Scrabble."

(1975 – ) Irish comedian, author, musician, actor & playwright
Beliefs Religion

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs People Religion Sex Women

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

GOD Talks 2 U? There Is Medication For That.

Beliefs God

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Self

Megachurches – I can’t be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

The person with the least expertise has the most opinions.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws Opinion

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

(1920 – ) Hungarian writer
Beliefs God

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Beliefs Proverbs

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Religion Situations

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Facts and truth really don’t have much to do with each other.

(1897-1962) American writer
Beliefs Facts Honesty Truth

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden… it ends with Revelations.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs Books Communication