Subject: Characteristics (Page 17)

The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.

(1941 – ) novelist
Characteristics Places

There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Characteristics

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Characteristics Games

Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Characteristics Definitions

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks Things

A combination of Little Nell and Lady Macbeth.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

(1834 – 1902) English Catholic historian, politician, & writer
Characteristics Government

I love Barack Obama because when I go to Europe I don’t have to pretend to be Canadian any more.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Characteristics Government President

All your friends are gonna be green with envious.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Misspokements

Coming from Canada, being a writer and Jewish as well, I have impeccable paranoia credentials.

(1931 – 2001) Canadian author, screenwriter & essayist
Canada Characteristics People Places

My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Marriage

On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Characteristics

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

He's a Republican housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Characteristics Insults

Truth varies.

Characteristics Government Honesty Murphy’s Laws Politics Truth

Slicker than a greased eel.

Characteristics Expressions

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

If it tastes good, you can't have it; if it tastes awful, you'd better clean your plate.

Characteristics Food/Drink Health

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics