Subject: Characteristics (Page 17)

He’s crooked as a barrel full of fish hooks.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Insults

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Characteristics People Self

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground – and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Characteristics People Women

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Characteristics Games

Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Characteristics

I'd like to do a few quick depressions for you guys… anxiety

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Characteristics

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Characteristics Marriage

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies Men People Women

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty… he has suffered longer.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Characteristics Men People

Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess
Characteristics

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

There is no ‘I’ in self-esteem.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Characteristics Self

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication

The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.

(1941 – ) novelist
Characteristics Places

He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War and Peace and still had a few people left over.

(1920 – ) author, editor, journalist, playwright & television producer
Characteristics

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics