Subject: Communication » Language (Page 11)

I type a 101 words a minute… but it's in my own language.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Communication Language Speech

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Do people in Australia, call the rest of the world, "Up Over"?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Why is it, “A penny for your thoughts,” but, “You have to put your two cents in?” … somebody’s making a penny.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Money

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

Calling Durante's nose large is like calling Jack Benny "thrifty."

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Appearance Language

The words “don't" and “isn’t” are contraptions.

Communication Language Malaprops

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Definitions Government Language Politics

In my youth there were words you couldn’t say in front of a girl; now you can’t say ‘girl.'

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Language Speech

If you don't know what a mammogram is, it is not a woman with big breasts who works for Western Union.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Communication Language

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.


Communication Language

Satire is focused bitterness.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Language

Don't abbrev.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

If you can’t explain what you’re doing in simple English, you are probably doing something wrong.

Communication Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Communication Insults Language Reading/Writing