Subject: Communication » Language (Page 14)

I don't want to brag, but I do speak Pig Latin; I mean, I'm not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Communication Language Places Speech

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor
Communication Insults Language

The two most beautiful words in the English language are “check enclosed.”

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Language

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

I recently gave a talk to a group of backpackers; they were on the edge of their seats.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Communication Ideas Intelligence Language Murphy’s Laws

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Communication Language

Oppose: To assist with obstructions and objections.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

A man who calls bullshit fertilizer.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Communication Individuals Language Lies

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Intelligence Language Self

I want to take one of those English as a Second Language courses – just go in and blow everybody away on the first day.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Language

If you don't know what a mammogram is, it is not a woman with big breasts who works for Western Union.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Communication Language

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Work