Subject: Communication (Page 13)

If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong spelling.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of William Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Communication Reading/Writing

No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Communication People

I sink, therefore I swam.

Activities Communication Wordplay

It’s not that the world that’s got so much worse, but the news coverage that’s got so much better.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Communication

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Insults People

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Communication Men People Speech Women

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.

Communication Proverbs

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books Communication Death Reading/Writing

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there’s a good chance no one’s heard it before.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Entertainment

First time I ever read the dictionary, I thought it was a poem about everything.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

A good review is considered nepotism; a bad one professional jealousy.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Opinion

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment but compose immediately after.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.

Books Murphy’s Laws Time

He was engaged to a contortionist, but she broke it off.

Communication Relationships Wordplay