Subject: Communication (Page 48)

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

All I had to my name were some letters and all I had in my pocket was a broken compass; I didn’t know which way to turn.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Death Language

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Books Communication Self

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

She doesn’t need a steak knife… she cuts her food with her tongue.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication People Speech

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was “Hang up, I got it!”

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Age Children Communication Family Parents Speech Young

The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it.

(1929 – 1982) American actress & princess of Monaco
Communication Speech

Be careful about reading health books for you may die of a misprint.

(1747 – 1803) German Jewish physician & lecturer on philosophy
Books Communication Death Health Reading/Writing

And for the record, all marriages are same sex marriages; you get married, and every night, it’s the same sex.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Marriage Sex Wordplay

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Beliefs Characteristics Communication Lies Truth

Where would I be without my sense of direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Language People Self

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

You want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Speech

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at all.

(1933 – ) television & radio host
Conversation People