Subject: Communication (Page 53)

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

Actress Claudette Colbert: I knew these lines backwards last night.

Coward: And that’s just the way you’re saying them this morning.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Speech

I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts, and he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it; I said, f**k that, I’ll just make a copy.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator
Communication People Speech

Never argue with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Situations

A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Communication

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Press agent: How do I get our leading lady's name in your newspaper?
George S. Kaufman: Shoot her.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

She was a master at making nothing happen very slowly.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

If a parsley farmer loses a law suit, do they garnish his wages?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conversation People Stupidity Things

Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Communication Honesty Truth

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Money Reading/Writing

Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth's; everything in its place and nothing above sixpence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Speech

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.


Communication Reading/Writing

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music