Subject: Communication (Page 53)

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.

Communication Reading/Writing

You want to go out tonight? We could grab an Italian. And then go for dinner afterwards.

(1963 – ) Canadian-American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

You can get away with anything as long as you tell someone about it.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.


Communication Reading/Writing

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Communication Elections/Voting

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Beliefs Communication God Health Speech

I learned about sex the hard way… from books.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Books Communication Sex

Fame loses a little of its cache when you have to tell people that you have it.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Success

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication

I’ve got a funny idea that before the internet people were just writing ‘f**k you’ and attaching it to pigeons.

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Communication

I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking; but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Communication Speech Time

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Books Communication

Speeches are like babies – easy to conceive but hard to deliver.

Communication Speech