Subject: Communication (Page 66)

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Insults Speech

[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Insults Reading/Writing

I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish, I will know how it turned out.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Communication Death Reading/Writing

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there’s a good chance no one’s heard it before.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Entertainment

I hate Twitter… it’s like a state surveillance agency staffed by gullible volunteers.

(1968 – ) English comedian, writer, director & musician
Communication

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

Men's tonsils, please.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Communication History Murphy’s Laws Speech

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Never argue with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Situations

They stayed away in droves.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Speech

Advertising is the art of making whole lies out of half truths.


Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Truth

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs; it is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all.

(1740 – 1795) Scottish lawyer, diarist & author
Communication People Speech Women

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Situations Sleep Speech

My friend has a baby; I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

She was just a passing fiancée.

Communication Wordplay

When Mr. Wilbur calls his play ‘Halfway to Hell,’ he underestimates the distance.

(1894 – 1984) theatre critic
Communication Reviews/Criticism

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Language