Subject: Communication (Page 69)

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wisdom

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication

[Poker] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Activities Communication Games

Everything has been said but not everyone has said it.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Speech

I have a fax machine with “fax waiting.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Communication School Speech

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

When a letter simply addressed to "Duffy the Dope" was delivered to me, I knew it was time to retire.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Communication People Self Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication

Good taste and humor… are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

(1930 – 1990) English journalist, author & media personality
Communication

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Speech

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from strong will, and the other from strong won’t.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Characteristics Wordplay

What can I say about Milton Berle that he already hasn't said himself?

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Opinion Speech

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? … all you do is change the words.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Occupations Reading/Writing Work

When I can’t sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Insults Reading/Writing Situations

An argument is a question with two sides and no end.

Beliefs Communication

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Communication Language

Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports