Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 10)

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon… but it never really took off.

(1964 – ) English comedian

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

Yes, so it does.

(1869 – 1931) American politician

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

She was another of his near Mrs.

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

How can there be self-help groups?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

You’ve got to give the guy some slack… he’s caught between Iraq and a hard-on.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Familiarity breeds attempt.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

One arm butlers – they can take it but they can’t dish it out.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer

I had a job drilling holes for water… it was well, boring.


I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

(1964 – ) English comedian

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer

Youth is stranger than fiction.

writer

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.