Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 12)

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Failure Success Wordplay

I’m not worried about the Third World War… that’s the Third World’s problem.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Conflict War Wordplay

Just seen the grave of the woman from My Fair Lady… it says ‘Here lies a Doolittle’.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

You’ve got to give the guy some slack… he’s caught between Iraq and a hard-on.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Situations Wordplay

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

Today’s subliminal thought is: …

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago and since then he’s never looked back.


Communication Things Wordplay

My dad suggested I register for a donor card; he’s a man after my own heart.


Communication Wordplay

Thinly sliced cabbage.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Wordplay

All I had to my name were some letters and all I had in my pocket was a broken compass; I didn’t know which way to turn.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay