Subject: Conflict (Page 14)

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Conflict Government Military War

At their core, women fear that men will kill them; at their core, men fear that women will laugh at them.

(1954 – ) security specialist, advisor & author
Characteristics Emotions Killing Laughter Men People Women

I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Fights

Dick Cheney says he loves California… out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict People Places

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Fights

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children Conflict People

Buying my wife a gun is sort of like me saying, 'You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Arms Conflict Killing Situations

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Appearance Clothing Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Madonna said that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq; Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we'd better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first.”

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Conflict War

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers; I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Arms Fear Men People Things

Shoplifter: A person with a gift of grab.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn’t there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Conflict War

Murderers – stop murdering; everyone will die eventually… just sit down and be patient.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Death Killing

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.

(1921 – 1999) American writer (The Godfather)
Conflict Crime Lawyers

The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

Desert combat?… I can't even stand the walk back from the beach to the car.

comedian, television host & actor
Conflict War

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there're more hoods than neighbors!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime People

The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Arms Conflict Stupidity