Subject: Conflict (Page 12)

Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s – as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Conflict Crime

Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare with the guns, the gangs, the drugs – and I'm home schooling them.

American comedian & writer
Conflict Drugs Education Places

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I’ll let you have the pen!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Things

Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Conflict Crime Definitions

I’m not a fighter; I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Autos Conflict Fights Things

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn’t there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Conflict War

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Entertainment Music Places War

I really wish ISIS would stop playing violent video games and listening to Marilyn Manson.

European comedian & actor
Conflict People War

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

I hate traveling, I guess ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Conflict Family Fathers Travel

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor
Conflict Family Fights

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Arms Conflict Stupidity

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Entertainment Film

Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.

(1874 – 1936) Austrian writer & journalist
Conflict War

All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.

American actor
Conflict Killing TV/Movie Quotes

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things