Subject: Death (Page 23)

You be good. See you tomorrow. I love you.

African Grey Parrot (1976 – 2007) subject of a thirty-year experiment by animal psychologist Irene Pepperberg

Smoking cures weight problems… eventually.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Death is not the end; there remains the litigation over the estate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw

I'm sorry, boys, I’m all wet.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

Now I will show you how an Italian dies!

(1968 – 2004) Italian security officer

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

(? – 1963) convicted murderer

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch; my grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

Home to the palace to die.

(1818 – 1881) Emperor of the Russian Empire

I’m always angry when I’m dying.

(1923 – 2009) English barrister, dramatist, screenwriter & author

Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

(1832 – 1898) English author, mathematician, logician & photographer

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.

(1887 – 1979) American businessman & founder of the Hilton Hotels

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

One last drink, please.

(1846 – 1911) American distiller

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

(1899 – 1957) film actor

More weight.

(c.1611 – 1692) a prosperous farmer and church member in early colonial America who died under judicial torture during the Salem witch trials