Subject: Death (Page 23)

No thank you.

(1959 – 2005) American serial killer
Last words

I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million

(1821 – 1885) American businessman & millionaire
Last words

He'd make a lovely corpse.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Death Insults

Death: To stop sinning suddenly.

Death Definitions

Luna: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles: Sex and death – two things that come once in a lifetime… but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Die, my dear?… why that's the last thing I'll do!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Last words

The operation was a complete success, but the patient died of something else.

Death Doctors Health

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it; I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.

(1908 – 1993) U.S. Supreme Court justice
Death Relationships Situations

Let no man's deathbed be a futon.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Death

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer
Death Entertainment Music

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.

(? – 1928) mob boss
Last words

I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death Epitaphs

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death… although Catholics have their hopes.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Last words

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Death People

Why shouldn’t we air grievances at funerals?

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Death

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Death Things

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Death War

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Death People Time

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral was to make sure he was dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Insults

Take a step or two forward, lads. It will be easier that way.

(1870 – 1922) Irish author & nationalist
Last words