Subject: Death (Page 23)

If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss, then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death

Dammit… don't you dare ask God to help me!

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Last words

Damn it! How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?

(1783 – 1830) Venezuelan military & political leader
Last words

It is hovering and it's not an aircraft.

(c.1958 – presumed dead in 1978 ) Australian pilot
Last words

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Death Self

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Animals Death Dogs Marriage

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Death

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

(1810 – 1891) American showman, businessman, entertainer & circus founder
Last words

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Death

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

Death Life Murphy’s Laws

Usually when someone is given an evening like this, they’re way too dead to say thank you.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Death Situations

Kids, kids, I'm not going to die; that only happens to bad people.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Death TV/Movie Quotes

People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead

Book Titles Death People

He'd make a lovely corpse.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Death Insults

Everything is an illusion.

(1876 – 1917) Dutch exotic dancer, courtesan & accused spy
Last words

I'm glad that's over.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Last words

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

I hope you go before me because I don’t want you singing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Death Entertainment

Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.

(1777 – 1855) German mathematician & scientist
Death

How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible?

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Death