Subject: Death (Page 5)

One dies only once, and it’s for such a long time!

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Death

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Death Speech

My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad; not as in, ‘with a stick’… he just died first.

(1978 – ) British comedian
Death

Now why did I do that?

(1728 – 1795) British Army commander
Last words

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Death War

Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

(1832 – 1898) English author, mathematician, logician & photographer
Last words

When I die, I want it to be on my 100the birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.

(1961 – ) American actress
Death Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

The grass is brown on both sides of the fence.

Death Murphy’s Laws

When Sinclair (Lewis) is dead he's dead; when I die I'm immortal.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Death People Self

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

I am going.

(1899 – 1982) King of Swaziland
Last words

Applaud, my friends, the comedy is finished.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Last words

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Last words

Guns don't kill people; it's those bullets ripping through the body.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Death

The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, to think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass.

(1963 – 1992) Texas inmate executed for rape & murder
Last words

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Time Young

I did not know that we had ever quarreled.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Last words

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Death Health Money

Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear. I always talk better lying down.

(1751 – 1836) American statesman & politician
Last words

What is the time? Never mind, it’s not important…

(1817 – 1882) Hungarian journalist, writer, poet & translator
Last words