Subject: Death (Page 7)

They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!

(1813 – 1864) American teacher & Union Army general in the Civil War
Death Government Military

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Death Government

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Death

Walter Pidgeon

William Henry Pratt (1887 – 1969) English actor
Last words

I’ll never die in my sleep… I don’t sleep that well.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Death Sleep

Can this last long?

(1650 – 1702) Dutch ruler over England & Ireland & Scotland
Last words

I am a pianist.


Last words

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Death Marriage Wives

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

How could they tell?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Insults

Never drive at night.

(1834 - 1902) American manufacturer
Last words

My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad; not as in, ‘with a stick’… he just died first.

(1978 – ) British comedian
Death

Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.

(1664 – 1721) English poet & diplomat
Death Doctors Health

Our greatest fear is to die alone, which is why I intend to take quite a few people with me.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Death

You sons of bitches, give my love to Mother!

(1912 - 1932) American convicted murderer & career criminal
Last words

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman
Death Epitaphs

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Beliefs Death Opinion

When people bury other people, they should be damn certain that’s where they want them to be.


Death

Die, my dear?… why that's the last thing I'll do!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Death Last words

My grief counsellor died the other day… but he was so good I didn’t give a shit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Emotions

That picture is awful dusty.

(1847 – 1882) American outlaw, bank robber & convicted murderer
Last words