Subject: Death (Page 8)

Ah, Luisa, you always arrive just as I am leaving.

(1798 – 1866) Italian statesman, novelist & painter
Last words

If anyone cries at my funeral, I will never speak to him again.

(1890 – 1965) English comic actor, writer & director (of Laurel & Hardy)
Death

Lady, you shot me.

(1931 – 1964) American singer, songwriter & entrepreneur
Last words

I shall look forward to a pleasant time.

(1737 – 1793) American merchant, statesman & patriot of the Revolution
Last words

Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

(1832 – 1898) English author, mathematician, logician & photographer
Last words

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer.; but imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Death People

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.

Death Definitions Life

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.

(1914 – 1959) American actor best known for his role as Superman
Last words

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

comedian, counselor & speaker
Death Science/Weather Success Wealth

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

When you have told anyone you have left him a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Death

It is nothing… it is nothing…

(1863 – 1914) Archduke of Austria
Last words

At Last She Sleeps Alone.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death

Why should I worry about dying; it'’not going to happen in my lifetime!

(1919 – ) American mathematician, logician & magician
Death

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Death

I leave life so that I can walk into history.

(1882 – 1954) Brazilian dictator & democratically elected President
Last words

Everything is an illusion.

(1876 – 1917) Dutch exotic dancer, courtesan & accused spy
Last words

Proof that we don’t understand death is that we give dead people a pillow.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Death

Surprise me.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Last words