Subject: Definitions (Page 12)

View All Definitions

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Hospital Room: A place where friends of the patient go to talk to other friends of the patient.

Definitions

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.

Definitions Food/Drink

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Animals Definitions

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Pregnancy: The shape of things to come.

Definitions

Bachelor: A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.

Definitions Men People

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Reading/Writing