Subject: Definitions (Page 24)

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Love: Oceans of emotions surrounded by expanses of expenses.

Definitions Emotions Love

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

Counterfeiter: A guy who gets into trouble by following a good example.

Definitions

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Bookcase: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and elvis collectibles.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Current Events: Electric shocks.

Definitions

Misconception: A pregnancy occurring while taking birth control pills.

Definitions

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Definitions

Dentist: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions